♥My Daily Bitchings.

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heroine bitchings go on, talk yearns loves!

The Heroine

Of Her Own Story.

One FacinatingBitch.

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I've Teared Enough. ♥ 6:24 AM

Time-Check: Thurs, 20th Aug, 10.34pm.

Grr, Prelim Results Were Atrocious! But I Am Not Going To Get Disheartened.
I Am Going To Work Hard For O's. Looking On The Bright Side, I Don't Have To Study On My Own. Teachers Will Call Me Back & Drill Me. Lols!

So There's A Lot Going In My Mind Lately. & When I Say A Lot, I Mean Like So MUCH!
I Kinda Despise It Cause It's Really Affecting My Concentration Every Single Day. What's Affecting Me More Is That I Really Don't Know Who To Talk It Out With. & Even If I Have My Options, I Don't Know Where To Start, What To Say, What Not To. What's More Annoying Is, These Days, You Can Hardly Trust Anybody.

I Remember When My First Crush Strucked Me. Aged 5, Did I Even Know What I Was Thinking? I Recall Us Telling Each Other We Would Never Leave Each Other. Today, I Don't Even Know If He Still Exist..
Then I Remember My Next Crush. Used To Go Crazy Everytime My Eyes Met Him. I'll Get This Stupid Feeling & I Can Hear My That-Time-Current Fav Song Playing In My Head. Again I Told Myself, No Way Am I Going To Let This Go. Guess What, Went Straight Into The Drains!
& Then It Happened Again. This Time I Confused Pity With Love. I Had My First Dance With A Guy. Used To Find It So Magical To Be Around Him. He Could Make Me Smile With Everything He Said. Then I Realised, Wasn't Worth My Time. But Never Forgotten Him Till Today. But Nope, No Feelings Or Love Or What-So-Ever. Just Hope He's Doing Fine.
& Then Came The Amazing One. One Of The Best I've Ever Had. Lasted More Longer Than I Ever Thought It Would. How I Could Be Myself With Him & It Was Easy For Him To Conquer My Mind. & I Never Forgot Anything We Had. First Kiss, Movie, Place We Met, Everywhere We Went, Etc. Everything Was Just So Awesome. Just Too Good To Be True. & I Remember All The Bear Hugs, Times Where I Literally Never Wanted To Let Go. Times When I Was Too Afraid To Let Go. I Could Never Stop Smiling At The Fact Of Every Happenings. But You Know How Good Things End Real Quick? Lols. Life's Just Too Complicated To Understand Sometimes. I've Been Through This Before. & Every Single Time, I Just Keep Making The Same Mistake. & For Once When I Want To Make The Right Move, People Don't Let Me. Isn't It My Life, Don't I Have The Right To Decide?

I Bet When Every Girl Was Little, She Would Imagine How The Perfect Guy Should Be. You Know What Would Crush A Girl Most, To Know She Made The Wrong Choice. When She Forsees Herself At Court Fighting To Just Separate From The One She Thought She Loved Most..
& I Am Just So Afraid I'll End Up There. I Remember My Mum Always Saying, "It's Never To Late For Anything. If You Feel He Ain't Right, You Got To End It Early. I Never Want To See You Get Hurt".

I Never Wanted To Lose Those Feelings. But As Days Goes By, I Just Had No Choice. Everything Changed So Much And All I Felt Was That I Was Cheating Myself. It Hurts, But You Just Got To Learn It The Hard Way Sometimes.

I Just Want A Big Break From It All. No More Butterflies, No More Mushy Feelings. No More Lovey-Dovey Stuff. Been Hurt For Long Enough. Right Now, I Just Want To Chill With Some Good Friends, Study Hard, & Get Into A Promising Career. & Then Maybe I Can Think About All This.

I Guess This Got Too Long. I Am Going To Take A Shower. What?! Do You How Freaking Hot The Weather Is? Goodbye Readers. Take Care.

Peace & Love!

'Umaaaaa!

p.s. & I Remember, As I Grew, I Had Tiny Expectations For The Guy I Wanted To Be With In The Future Nicely Bottled & Kept Safely In My Heart. It's Sad To Know, You'll Actually Go To The Extend Of Ripping My Heart Apart To Know The Ans & Be This Guy I Imagined Just To Be With Me. But Baby, By Then, Im Long Gone. .. Go Figure!

Labels: Let's Take It Slow. Why The Rush?